The Thoughts of Captain Autumn

I had to do the layout for a job advert recently. The wording for it is below - all I've done is remove the specific department to which it relates, and changed the name of the company to ZX. Other than that it's exactly as it went out.

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We have an opportunity for an experienced individual with the aspiration to become a Manager in the near future. You will join the department and work with all ZX businesses on a domestic and European basis. You should become a true business partner in order to support and identify process and solution enhancements which support the organisational and business strategies.

You will be responsible for identifying operational effectiveness opportunities and based on this capture requirements and conduct analysis to be presented to Management. Directing and managing projects through the full life cycle, you will define project scope, goals and deliverables in collaboration with management and key stakeholders in accordance with an internal established framework.

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Is it me, or is that all so vague that it could be a vacancy for just about anything? Is there anything there that tells you what the job actually is? Anything that tells you precisely what you would be expected to do? All it says in effect is this:

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We have an opportunity for someone looking to move into management. You will work for ZX. You will improve stuff to makes us perform better. You will look for ways we could improve, then tell Management, and then you'll put those improvements into place.

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It's actually for an IT role, but I don't think you'd know that with me having removed the instances of IT ("IT individual", "IT Manager", "IT department" in the first line for example.) After the above there are five bullet points, which ask for, amongst other things, "experience which is relevant and extensive", "a proven record of full life cycle project management", "excellent communication skills, both written and verbal", "a highly motivated, enthusiastic, team player approach" and "ability to influence and network effectively".

Experience which is "relevant and extensive"? As opposed to...? What is "full life cycle project management"? Isn't that just finishing what you start? As for the others, they're full of job spec buzzwords which are so familiar that they are rendered almost meaningless. The point I'm making, albeit in a slightly fatuous way, is that there seems to be a whole new strain of business English which shies away from saying things simply and instead says them confusingly at three times the length. Moreover, it makes everything uniform and bland, when surely we should crave individuality and inspiration?

It's times like this I wish I had a massive circle of friends and acquaintances, both real and electronic, whom I might employ to spread the word. As it is, I will just have to hope that some sort of jazz butterfly effect will come into play from the tiny flap I can make on this thinly read page.

David Newton's new album is out, finally. I say finally because it's been on the cards for months and months, and at times I wondered if I might ever hold it in my hand. Now I do, and 'Portrait Of A Woman' is every bit as beautiful as anticipated. It is something of a departure for Newton, an entire album of original compositions dedicated to his muse, who must be something else going by the work he's created in her name. As if his sublime writing and playing were not enough, the album also features Jim Mullen on guitar, and the incomparable string arrangements of the impossibly gifted Richard Niles. If you like your jazz romantic, elegant and sensitive, this is the album for you. Available via www.davidnewton.net, should you feel inclined.

The album even looks sumptuous, as you can see.

And the minuscule proportion my design (not the painting, just the layout) contributed to the overall impact is a source of completely disproportionate pride to me.