What has happened to spammers these days? They're just not putting the work in. Look at these two efforts that have arrived in my inbox in the last few days.
Pathetic, aren't they? They don't even bother with a story about a widow and an unclaimed inheritance. Dr Malik Ali, from whom I hear on an almost daily basis, would be horrified by their lackadaisical approach to his pitiful form of conmanship.
In other news, the good people of FHM have once again asked for my opinions. This time the questions were all about alcohol. Given that I am approaching my 20th anniversary without partaking of the substance responsible for most of society's ills (yes that's right, I did write that), I am not the ideal subject for topics like:
How far do you agree or disagree with each of the following statements about drinks?
I worry about the long-term health effects of my alcohol consumption
I sometimes feel pressured to drink alcohol in social situations even if I dont really want to
I enjoy getting drunk
I tend to drink more alcohol in the summer months than in winter
I often go to work with a hangover
I also disagreed with the statement that their website is a good place to go for a quick entertainment fix, and when asked to choose from these words to describe it - Trashy, Entertaining, Safe-for-work, Confusing, Intelligent, Cluttered, Engaging, Cool, Useful, Topical, Funny, Sexy, Informative, Amusing, Sleazy, Immature, Modern, Up-to-date, All-encompassing - I plumped for trashy, sleazy and immature. I'd like to think this will finally prompt them to kick me off their panel, but thinking about it the idiots who run FHM probably take those adjectives as badges of honour. On the other hand, I hope they will have been a little confused by my answer to the illiterate question
Which celebrity would you most like to spend an evening drinking with down the pub?
To which I responded Richard Dawkins. Then again, they almost certainly won't have heard of him and will greet it with a neanderthal grunt.
