I had a friend request from Bebo this morning, from someone called Victoria Thomson. I don't know Victoria Thomson, and I have no wish to be her friend. In fact I have no wish to be on Bebo, which I only joined under unpleasant circumstances. A little over a year ago, one of my children was targetted by a group of bullies at his school, who set up a page on Bebo where people were invited to mock him. The page was titled "I Hate... " followed by his name. When I found out about it, the only way I could contact Bebo to express my concerns (fury might be a better word) was to join the site.

I sent a complaint, saying that I wanted the page taken down and I wanted to know who was responsible for setting it up in the first place. Unsurprisingly I got a stock response, saying that they were not able to divulge the name unless criminal proceedings were ongoing and they were asked by law enforcement. I understand that. I know that it is right and proper that they are unable to give out information without just cause. I am in agreement with the protection of such data.

But it did make me wonder to what extent the people who run sites like this fully understand their social responsibility. Not giving me the details I wanted is very responsible, but it is also enshrined in law. Where is the responsibility not to provide a forum for malevolent children to make other childrens' lives miserable? Why were they not able to prevent that from happening with the same efficiency with which they could rebuff me? Why is their position in such situations always reactive rather than proactive? I don't know how a site like Bebo can be expected to monitor every group that is set up for potential bullying, but, in all seriousness, that's their problem, not mine. If they can't do it, then the site shouldn't function the way it does. It simply isn't good enough to say that they take such abuses seriously and act promptly whenever they are brought to their attention. By the time we found out about it, the page had been up for weeks. Weeks. That's weeks of a 12 year old boy being ridiculed by his peers. Try and remember how it was to be 12, and how that felt. Remember how long weeks can feel when you're 12.

By the time I would have been responding to their answer, the page had been taken down by the person who had initiated it, so my ire dampened. I found the whole experience so demoralising that I don't think I ever replied in the end, preferring to obliterate the whole experience from my consciousness as far as possible. My son was incredibly stoic about it, and in fact withstood it all rather better than I did. I have tears in my eyes writing about it now, although that is possibly just self-pity at my own inadequacy as a parent for not taking his protestations of the treatment he was getting at school as anything other than the usual rough and tumble of school life. The bullying receded and my son has enjoyed a positive year at school. It all feels like a long time ago now.

Still, now and again I get these stupid friend requests, so I decided it was time to log on to Bebo and cancel my membership. Wading through their help section to discover how, I found the below:

If you decline a friend request or delete a person from your friend list that person will not be notified. They will just flounder around in their own unpopularity without ever knowing why. Your personal contact information will be removed from their friend list. Gosh, life can be cruel.

Reading that, it is hardly surprising that the vindictive elements of society gravitate to Bebo, where they clearly find a home.